A little Christmas Humor.

So, I've been playing with this idea in my head for about a week now and here it is: Christmas Carol Fail: Worst/Most Inappropriate Christmas Songs ever. Here they are in no particular order.

1) Baby, It's Cold Outside - I've linked to the Dean Martin recording because I really like it. I love this song, actually. It makes the list because IT'S NOT REALLY A CHRISTMAS SONG! See also: Let It Snow.

2) Jingle Bells - I've linked to a Sinatra rendition. Again, it's a good version of the song. It makes the list because Jingle Bells is not only not a Christmas Song, it's been done badly more times than anybody can count. Seriously, searching 'jingle bells' on YouTube yields over 87,000 results.

3) Over the River and Through the Woods - I've linked to Danny Kaye and the Andrews Sisters. I like this version because it's actually "Over the River and Through the Woods" not the verses of "Over the River" with Jingle Bells for the chorus (see above), but this song was written for Thanksgiving, and singing 'Merry Christmas' over and over at the end doesn't change that.

4) The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot - This is the Phyllis Robbins version, a somewhat less depressing version of the most depressing song ever. About a poor boy. Who "hasn't got a daddy." And Santa didn't bring him anything. Isn't this supposed to be the time for Good Cheer??

5) Santa Baby- Eartha Kitt. This one makes the list because she basically says, 'I wasn't slutty this year, so you should bring me a pony and a million dollars." Wow, that's a great way to look at things.

6) My Favorite Things - Coltrane. I love this version of the song. I look forward to hearing it at Christmas, actually. But guess what! Show tune! Not a Christmas song. You may remember it from a little show called "The Sound of Music" which was about Nazis and a nun who falls in love. And about a million kids, wearing clothes made out of the curtains.

7) Every loud, rock, or disco version of Silent Night - I picked the "We wish you a Metal Xmas" version because it illustrates my point perfectly. If I remember the story correctly 'Silent Night' was written by the pastor of a church who discovered that an animal had chewed a hole in the organ bellows. Meaning no music for Christmas Eve, therefore a SILENT NIGHT. It was written for acoustic guitar and solo voice. If you're doing this song loud, you missed the whole point.

8) Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer - because it's AWFUL!

9) The Man with All The Toys - I have a huge soft spot in my heart for the Beach Boys, I really do, but the harmony is a guy going "bop" at the end of every line. Really????

And last but certainly not least:

10) Christmas Without You - Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. Beautiful song, beautiful sentiment. Their voices are great together. But every time I hear the line "Christmas songs that we knew, and used to make love to" I want to throw up a little inside my own head. Nothing ruins a song like the mental image of Dolly Parton having sex to Christmas carols. Eeeewww!

These aren't necessarily bad songs. I've purposely including the versions that I like quite a bit for most of them. They're mostly just really bad at being Christmas songs, but nobody plays them except at Christmastime.

Green Tomato Soup

I always use the end of the tomatoes from my garden for this, so we really only get to make one pot a year. It's probably about 2 1/2 - 3 lbs of tomatoes.

Lots of tomatoes - ripe, unripe, anything in between

Hamhock or smoked pork shank

1/2 Stick of Butter

Peppered Bacon (2 or 3 slices)

Fresh Chard (5 or so large leaves)

Wilt the Chard in a frying pan with the bacon. When the chard is totally wilted, separate it from the bacon. Chop up your bacon and throw it in the soup pot, set the chard aside.

Saute the hamhock/pork shank in the butter. (You don't need to worry about cooking these pieces through, they're already cooked, but you'll want to cook off some of the fat.) Pour the drippings into your soup pot. Clean the meat off of your ham pieces. Throw out the skin and keep the bone for other soup.

Chop up the tomatoes and throw them all in your soup pot. Cook until tomatoes break down and the soup starts to take on the consistency of a sauce. When you're happy with the consistency of your soup, stir in the chard. Adding the chard at the end prevents it from cooking down to nothing and disappearing into the soup.

Enjoy! With Peppered Bacon, you likely will not even need to add salt and pepper.

34.6

I totally earned my day in pajamas today. Yesterday my mom and I went on another Epic Bike Ride. 34.6 miles on the D&L Trail! We rode from Laurys Station to Bowmanstown and back. It went pretty well, although we're both a bit achy today. Also, we're bummed, because the Weissport Segment isn't open yet.

We rode Glen Onoco to White Haven and back over the summer, so we've gotten to see quite a bit of the trail at this point. I'm looking forward to the trail getting finished, it'll be 165 miles eventually.

Today wasn't a total loss though, I did make my annual pot of Green Tomato and Ham Soup! And we added Swiss Chard to it this year.

Also, I got a lot of work done on the next baby afghan I have to finish.

The weather is turning colder.

This is my favorite season, without a doubt! It's cool enough to work on my bigger projects, like finishing my quilt tops and maybe starting a big afghan project. It's apple picking season, which means homemade apple sauce, and pumpkins are just around the corner for jack o'lanterns and pumpkin butter! A friend has baby #2 due in a couple weeks and another friend is having a Halloween wedding!

With all of the cold weather cooking I like to do, you guys are gonna have to stay on my butt about eating right. And I'll probably need some extra nagging to make sure that I stay active as it starts to be too cold to ride my bike. That's right! Free license to be a pain in my ass! What more could you ask for!?!?

It's been tricky to balance Carl's lowered carb eating with my hypoglycemia, but we're doing pretty good. I've been eating a lot of rice and couscous because they're quick to whip up on the side of an otherwise low carb meal. Carl's heartburn is greatly improved and he's lost about 10 lbs.

We're feeling pretty good about things right now, especially as we, just yesterday polished off the end of the first big ol' pot of winter chili! (It was chili verde and it was awesome!)

Wish us luck as we transition from wild, unpredictable PA summer weather into freezing, unpredictable PA winter. I'll enjoy the fall either way, I'm just not sure about the effect on my waistline.

This Hippy is NOT Amused.

So, we survived Hurricane Irene. My heart goes out to the families of those who were not so fortunate. Damage was minimal, I suppose, given there was a hurricane/tropical storm, but it was also much worse than we anticipated.

Outside, the only damage was a broken flower pot and it was ugly and empty anyway, so I'm not concerned. We never lost power. All the water that came in the cellar door and the coal bin, ran right out the drain in the basement floor.

But the roof leaked. A lot. We think there's a good chance that our brand new (seriously, they finished it less than a year ago) bathroom may need serious renovations. I'm reasonable certain that the whole ceiling needs to be replaced, as well as a severely damaged corner where water ran down the wall behind the paint.

The paint is just sliding down the wall. By the time the rain stopped the whole side of the backsplash had swelled up and pulled away from the wall. If the backsplash is water logged, you know that the end of the counter top is too.

The pic is sorta upside down but, this is wear paint is coming off of the ceiling. Water also seeped down between the drywall seams in the ceiling in almost the whole room. So much water came in that we have a damaged ceiling tile in the dining room. And did I mention my entire house stinks like wet Sheetrock?

I understand that we're incredibly lucky. I get that. That doesn't mean I have to be happy about my bathroom getting destroyed after the roof was "fixed" last summer. I am relieved that everyone I love stayed safe, even if a few of them still have no power, but I am NOT amused.

Craziness.

I've not had much free time due to family commitments lately, between the nephew's doctor appointments and birthdays and so on, but we're still plugging along on the "Get Healthy" plan.

I've been doing really good at staying away from dairy and watching my portions. Carl has started eating low-carb. Which, by the way, it's a blast balancing a low-carb diet with a dairy-free hypoglycemic diet. I need carbs, he shouldn't have them. Cheese is an awesome option for him, but I can't have it. It's like grocery shopping for two separate households! I don't know how Lisa does it without losing her mind.

Right now, we're cooking a protein and a veggie, then I'm having a quick carb side, like veggie pasta or whole grain something while he has either a second portion of the veggie or a second veggie. It seems to be working pretty well now that it's starting to be a routine.

For snacks, we hide his cheese in a drawer in the fridge and we hide my crackers and pretzels in a cupboard that up until now wasn't really being used for anything. Again, so far so good.

I made homemade ketchup and some coarse ground mustard as well as making sure we're well stocked with salad dressings. I made a huge pot of meat sauce so I have something handy for my pasta and he's got something different to throw on his eggs for breakfast.

I have to saw that I'm really impressed how quickly he adapted to having a scramble egg wrap for breakfast from the peanut butter and honey that he's used to. He tells me his heartburn is almost gone and he's seems like he's starting to lose a bit of weight.

We're going to have a ton of bumps in the road I'm sure, but it seems as if we've finally found the right path! Wish us luck!

Quarantine? Really?

So, apparently, we were exposed to MRSA. If you don't already know, MRSA is an incredibly antibiotic-resistant variety of Staph.

So far, neither of us seems to be infected, but we're still waiting to hear about the lab work to see if we're carrying it, and potentially contagious in spite of not actually getting sick. We spent the weekend in more or less of a quarantine - we were allowed out of the house, but no hugging anybody, and no close contact with small children, elderly, diabetics, pregnant women, or people with compromised immune systems.

Needless to say, my plans to go to Maryland for the weekend to visit my friend who's 6 months pregnant and her family got cancelled. We had to miss my grandmother's birthday party, and Carl couldn't go to his gaming group because they have 2 diabetics in the group.

On the plus-side, this is the closest to caught up that our laundry has been since the fire (we've been slowly rewashing everything his mom washed, because it turns out I'm allergic to her detergent) and I got a ton of sewing done and Carl got some writing in. We also spent quite a bit of quality lazy-time together.

All things considered, it turned out to not be such a bad weekend.