Train, Train! Take me on out of this town.

Ok, it's really more like "Take me on out of this self-defeating, half-assed backwards mindset," but what can I say, I'm sort of a Blackfoot fan.

This past year sucked. Say it with me: "2010 sucked!" But, at the risk of turning into a walking cliche, there's been a silver lining in a lot of it.

Sure, my house almost burned down, but I didn't have to finish painting the 3rd floor and we got a kitchen/bathroom remodel.

Sure, I dislocated my knee and was out of work 3 weeks. but I got like a dozen afghans done for charity.

On the downside, is that all of the upheaval and, let's be honest, boredom, has lead to a lot of really, REALLY lousy eating habits.(And a serious Facebook addiction.) For so long, we were forced to eat based on convenience and now it's become our first instinct. We used to relish a chance to cook together, now we don't bother unless it's 3 days till the next check and there's $10 in the bank account.

I made fantastic Chipotle Corn Chowder for dinner the other night, but not because I had a brilliant recipe idea, it was because all I had left in the fridge was frozen corn, a stick of butter and a little milk.

At any rate, I ran into an old friend the other day, and she looked AWESOME! (Good for you, JuneBug!) Turns out, all she's doing different from my fat ass, is that she's actually doing all the things I keep meaning to do. Regular Yoga, eating the way she needs to, and so on. Basically, not being a useless lump after she punches out from work.

WAIT! That's all I need to do? Really? I swear on all that is holy and good, there really is something wrong with me. I can't even get my prescription filled on time. (Which I was gonna do tonight, I swear.)

And then I was sitting and thinking about it, I know I'm lactose intolerant, why do I continue to eat dairy? Why do I say, "well, I could have a little more milk before I have to worry about getting sick"? When I should be saying "I don't normally eat that, but for your birthday, I could have a smidge of Ice Cream."

I know that I can't eat onions. (Migraines) Yet over and over again, I find myself staring at Scallions or Chives saying "if I'm careful not to eat much of it, I'll be fine." When I should be saying "I should just skip this" or "I need to learn to cook this myself, you know, onion free, so I don't risk puking or missing work."

I genuinely love healthy goodies like dried fruit, nuts and seeds. So why don't I eat them?? I have a huge bag of almonds, could I tell you where it even is? Nevermind, when the last time I actually ate some of them.

I love Yoga. It centers me. It makes me feel awesome, spiritually and physically. If I did yoga yesterday, I can almost guarantee I'll do yoga today. Problem is, if life happens and I have to skip a day, it takes me like a week (or sometimes more) to get around to it again. Why??? What's wrong with me?

I could keep whining and say "I have OCD, I can't help it, I fixate on everything that sucks." Let's be honest, I'm on meds for that (which I still need to get refilled) and I know that I train myself to fixate on the good instead of the crap, I've done it in the past.

I'm not happy at work. Things are finally changing for the better, but it all feels like too little too late. So why don't I fixate on the things that do make me happy, you know, the not work stuff. How about yoga and almonds, cuddling with the cat or the fact that after almost 5 years, I'm still glad I married my husband. This isn't rocket science. It's easy stuff.

I need to just keep my eyes on the prize. No more onions, limit dairy to dry cheeses like parmesan and cheddar or things like sheep's milk feta which doesn't upset my stomach. Eat smaller, healthier snacks. Enjoy my food for the flavor, not the quantity. Pack a lunch, have breakfast at home.

Back to the basics! Need to get it right this time. Aside from the fact that I can't keep up with my favorite 4 yr old any more, I need to not look like a moose in the pictures at my sister's upcoming wedding.

Share with me! What have your "get healthy" victories been? Keep me motivated.

I'm not going to track my progress with weight loss. I'm going to track it in pants sizes. I'm also going to pay a visit to a giant staircase not far from our house (90 steps) and time myself climbing up and back down. Every week I'm going to go back and time myself again. I'm going to post the times here to keep myself honest.

Wish me luck.